At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
how drunk are you?
Several
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
