Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Drake has all the answers
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
