Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
