Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
