I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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