Christians are straight up FREAKS
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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