Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
