so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
