dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
