She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
