we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
