doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
