His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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