one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just google imaged poop.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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