he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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