maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
