so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
