it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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