So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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