One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize