What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
