my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
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