Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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