I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You're like the curious george of whores
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
