there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
