Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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