how hairy? two words: wookie tits
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
im on a boat
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