its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
