she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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