Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
