I could have mohawked her pubes.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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