i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My ATM looks so different sober.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
