Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She told me I should be a condom model.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
