In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
