turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
