I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
