the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
