sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
