yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
