I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
