they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
