Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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