I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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