Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I am available for nakedness
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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