It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
