I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
