used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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