Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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