Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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