Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
