I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
